Necessary Baggage

In Erica Badu’s Song “Bad Lady” she starts off singing, “Bag lady, you gon’ hurt your back, Dragging all them bags like that.”  The lyrics reminded me of the baggage in life that we carry.  Most of the baggage is unnecessary, but there is some very necessary baggage that must carry. We carry things like our clothes, shoes, makeup, grooming utensils, necessary documents, accessories, medication/vitamins, etcetera… of those things some we need and some we can do without.

We also have internal baggage that we carry: happiness, joy, love, pain, stress, worry, guilt or shame, sickness, and sadness. Again, in this case some we need/some we can do without and some we have to experience but need to let it go or hold onto.  Later on, in that same song Erica sings “I guess nobody ever told you, all you must hold on to is you, is you, is you… Bag lady, let it go, let it go, let it go, Girl, you don’t need that.” 

I have experienced some form of carrying internal and external baggage and if you’re in this life, I’m sure you have experienced some form of it yourself.  However, only carry what is necessary. If it is not needed, let it go.  We only get one life, one mind, one back, lol!  Hold onto the things that are true, that are important, that are needed…you know the necessary baggage.

Plan A

Many of us grow up with the thought that you must have Plan A, B, and C.  But what if we only focus on our Plan A, which is usually our initial dream of what we imagined ourselves to be? What if we put forth all our time, discipline, energy, sweat, blood, tears, and finances into our dream which is Plan A?  I’d like to think that Plan A’s fund more Plan A’s. I’d also like to think that some of the innovators of our time had a Plan A thought, conceptualize it until it became real and ultimately made it a success. 

That Plan A that they formed is often used to fund a new Plan A like what Elon Musk did with Zip2, X.com-PayPal, SpaceX, and Tesla not to mention the other companies he bought out. All to say that when we halfway follow Plan A only to then follow the plan B or C rule, we can often come out less fulfilled and only find ourselves trying to figure out how we can get back to Plan A.  You see how this all works?  We should have just worked on Plan A; life would probably be easier.

In our song, Planned Event, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNm_sAs3CT8) there’s a lyric Lana Mama says, “Like Mary, with a little bit of Martha, present with the day, but also things that I long for, I choose what’s important making innuendos, plan our end goals, success will follow where our end goes, we shine so bright people peeping out they windows.” Hey, I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that having a Plan A leads to following your dreams and there’s so much joy that is felt when doing so.  So, get going!                                      

It’s ok to just like it

For her last year of middle school Aviva Diva has been on the after school recreational volleyball team. It has brought her so much joy and has been used as an avenue to relieve some teenage stress.  Every Monday and Wednesday you would find her on the volleyball court suited up in her informal uniform and ready to play.  Her disappointment when they lost didn’t deter her from playing and when her team won it gave her a sense of pride and increased her confidence.

At the end of this school year, she decided that she wanted to try out for the high school volleyball team this summer. She thought she knew exactly what to expect.  Ya’ll, she had no idea.  Daddy Jay-0 and her went to the interest meeting and came back with two packets, in addition to emails outlining even more information.  High school volleyball is serious.  There are solo summer workouts, in addition to weekly weightroom workouts.  The team coach even suggested they sign up for additional practice by joining a summer volleyball league. She said to me, “Mom, I got to practice and do the workouts.”  I would always reply, “Well, if you want bad enough, you’ll do it.”  Summer vacation began and she had only one workout and said that she didn’t think she could do it.  I kept reminding her that she could, but that she had to prioritize her day so that she could make time to practice.

Eventually, she realized that although she liked volleyball, she didn’t love it.  She liked it enough to dedicate time to play after school but did not love it enough to put in the practice time for the high school team tryouts. If you know her, anything that she really wants to do that she loves, she’ll put forth every effort.  I’m just proud of her for realizing that it’s ok to like something and not necessarily love it.  She ultimately saved herself a lot of time, time that she can put towards what she really loves.

What Are We Without The Ones We Love

Many people think that designer wear, makeup, a fresh haircut, hair did, nails done, a dream house, investments, equate to happiness. However, do those material things really make us happy? Is it for the moment or are we longing for something everlasting? These are questions that defy a general answer, it’s really an individual thing.

I remember when a dear relative of ours fell terminally ill.  He eventually passed away about three months before the pandemic officially began.  He was a wonderful individual who had family and friends who loved him and a great career that ended with a wonderful retirement. 

However, when it came to the end of his life all he wanted was family and friends close to him. He wanted to reminisce and be reminded of what was and consume the joys of what is. He wanted to hear all the noise that our family makes (laughter, whining, endless questions, music, singing and sometimes just plain old noise, lol).  When our family would visit him; I would often apologize for the loudness and he would reply “Oh, it’s alright, I don’t mind it at all.”  At the end of each visit he would ask, “When ya’ll coming back?”  What I believed would be a nuisance to him, he counted it all joy. 

He was a man with fine taste: designer clothes, the great career/retirement and the house. However, all the things he had seemed less and less important to him as the days and the final hours wound down. After his passing, we as a family had a lot of time to reflect and talk about life and the importance of it. For us, what matters most is family, we are empty without the love, joy and support that family brings.  Family travels beyond bloodlines, elevating us to our greater selves while bringing great joy. So, when you’re a part of a great one hold on tight and never let go.

The Grass is Now Greener, On my side!

Who can live your life better than you can? No One! Oftentimes, we are looking up to, mimicking, wishing or longing for someone else’s life journey. And more often than not we don’t really know the details of what we’re wishing for. Our better lives happen when we tend to our own well-being. Whether it’s a better education, great physical health, sound mental health we must tend to the garden of life that belongs to us. The great thing about tending to our own is that we can make it as beautiful as we want and as it grows into its healthy state we can share and spread that beauty with others. I would love to beautify my natural nails without any extras, but, in order to do that I must first eliminate my bad habit of biting them. There is no possible way that I will see real progress if I continue to destroy that which I want to grow. Albeit it’s only nails, it’s still a journey that I’ve been on and one of which I want to prove to myself that I can conquer. You too, can do the same with whatever it is that you want to make better in your garden of life; and know that I’m rooting for you! Additionally, check out our song “Follow Your Dreams” now streaming on all media platforms!

Time to Elevate

If you’ve ever had a yearning in your soul to change your life into what you always dreamed of then do it now! For so many years I wanted to write. About what you say? About, everything I love (my family, my babies, my interests, etc.) but I felt that no one would want to read about it. However, I found that not to be true, once we started our LTLF Facebook page and YouTube channel. Our village, you, were interested and rooting for us to live our best lives. It’s because of your support, prayers and encouraging comments we are here to give you so much more. This year we are excited to put out more music! We just released two songs that we are so proud of “Summer Is My Vibe” and “No Caps!” Now we are preparing for more music soon to come, so we’ll definitely keep you posted. What are you excited about accomplishing in this season? Please share it with us, we would love to encourage you all as well!

Self-Investment

To properly invest in oneself, one would have to consider the time, patience, quality of that investment and the willingness to engage in the investment. As a wife and mother, among the many others titles I hold, self-investment has been one of the most difficult things to consistently add to my routine. There is always, I will do it tomorrow; when it’s me-time related, I can find a way to unselfinvest. Yes, I just made that up, and it was underlined in red because it wasn’t in the dictionary, so I know I did! If I need to write or paint my nails, etc.; I will put it off to do the girl’s hair. If I need to wash my hair, I will put it off until everyone goes to bed so that I won’t feel rushed. Yet, I realized, that there are times where self-investment needs to happen right in the midst of the crazy so that everyone can go to bed at a decent hour and feel refreshed the following day. There are just two things that need to take place. The first is to develop a routine and let everyone know. The second is to follow the routine. Eventually, everyone will see that you are serious about your self-investment and will follow suit to respect the time that you have allotted to fulfill that investment. Let me know your thoughts and other helpful ways to self-invest. How do you self-invest?

Gratitude

“In everything give thanks.” Thessalonians 5:18  There is just something that expressing gratitude not only gives your creator, but it brings so much joy internally and a love/joy combination to others. My perfect morning routine consist of getting up when all the world is quiet, putting on the hot water for tea, warm milk or coffee and sitting down next to the window, with daylight on its way while I do my devotion. It’s even better when I’m able to stay consistent, it brings me so much peace and a great start to my day. You may like to do yoga, listen to music, get coffee/journal and this may bring you the same kind of feeling that I receive. If you are already in the habit, awesome, you can totally relate. If you are not, please start right now, like get offline now, now meaning as soon as you finish reading this post for today! Find a way to consistently show gratitude as long as you’re living and breathing on this earth. I feel like negativity is an absolutely free weight that holds you down. However, gratitude is the uplifting antidote to that weight.

Embracing Your Experience

As we have continuously added to our family over the years, I have had many conversations with family, friends, coworkers wondering how we do it?! They continue on and say well I know I can’t complain at all to you guys, because I/we only have one or two (or whatever child amount that is lower than our count). Yet, I always express to them that they can complain or share or whatever because that is their experience. You can’t diminish your experience, just because someone else’s is different. When Jay and I only had two children; I only knew the ebbs and flows of what it meant to be a parent of two. I couldn’t and can’t diminish my experience just because it wasn’t something someone else wasn’t experiencing at the time. The great thing about having, embracing and sharing your experience with other people’s experience that are different from yours is that you’re able to learn from each other.

I’ll tell you, and Jay will agree; that it takes a lot of work, with some challenges, but it’s definitely worth it. Yet, this is our experience, it’s not so much easier or better than someone who has ten children or extremely difficult for someone that has two, however it is different.

Love Is Everywhere

There is often this superficial expression of love that is exhibited in the media and our society as a whole. However, love is more. I believe it’s implicitly beautiful. It’s an absolute, sometimes verbal or nonverbal, action or inaction, physical or nonphysical feeling that you get an overwhelming joy from or sadness when it goes away. In addition, each individual has a unique way of expressing love and accepting the love they receive. Sometimes it’s just the look towards your spouse across the room and just knowing that they know it’s time to go. Sometimes it’s thejoyous feeling of love when yousee the reaction on your parents faces after you share with them a goal you’ve accomplished. I get a happy love feeling whenever Princess Yemi shows us each one of her new accomplishments, I especially remember the greatest of her going to the potty all on her own!

Oftentimes love is not so pretty or perfect. In spite of any failures you’ve had, it is an amazing to still feel the love from others that give you the strength to try again. Last Valentine’s Day it looked and felt different from the previous years. Many people had lost loved-ones, quarantined alone or were separated from the family and friends that give zest to our individual lives. However, find a way if possible, to reach out to those who need to feel loved. You never know; you may be just what they needed.

In addition, if you have that special someone, that you want to express your love to, we have the perfect song to add to those feelings of love called,“Huckleberry Raindew,” now on all streaming platforms. We hope you enjoy and feel loved too!