Growing Together with No split Ends

Everyone in our family has textured hair, that ranges from loose curls, tight curls to locs. Textured hair is very fun hair to have, try different styles and products on. Although we do have our staples hair products that we like to use, it’s fun to try new products! Besides the various textures we have and products we use, among our hair tings are fairy knots. So, let’s talk about fairy knots!

What are fairy knots? If you, like me, have curly or wavy hair you might be familiar with those little knots. Fairy knots are knots that form at the ends of your hair when the ends are split. A split end is when hair becomes thin and fragile. The hair begins to split like a tree branch or some may say a fork. There are about four different types of split ends that I am aware of. I have probably had all of them!

The first two are the tree split and the fork split, which I mentioned above. The next two types of split ends are the double split where the hair ends split and form a shape like a “y” and the partial split which is a milder form of the double split and doesn’t do that much damage. The thinned hair (which becomes thin for a variety of reasons, like harsh chemicals, tight hairstyles, using a regular towel vs. microfiber) then begins to wrap its strand around other healthier strands of hair and forms a knot.

Unfortunately, the best way that I deal with these obnoxious little annoyances is to cut them rather than pull them out. I usually cut these fairy knots while detangling or combing my hair. By cutting them off sooner, rather than later; I can avoid long-term effects. These effects can become permanent such as more thinning and ultimately bald spots. Showing hair love is an essential for healthy hair strands. It will allow hair strands to grow together rather than apart; you know kind of like a family.

Love + Respect=Family Success

Famous actor, philanthropist, entrepreneur and most known as an NBA player, LeBron James knew that he wanted to be a family man (great father, husband/provider) when he grew up. Although his father walked out on him and his mother, he wanted to be the change he did not see. Moreover, he was surrounded by those who were actively in the place that he wanted to be.

With the support of his mother, his coach and his friend’s parents who were married, he was able to fuel this desire and ultimately become successful in his family life and career. He knew that it would take work, dedication and an overall commitment to himself and the ones that he loved to fulfill this goal. Looking at our own family we know that perfect doesn’t exist. However, we realize that if each one of us does our part there is nothing that we can’t do to accomplish our dreams and we can do it together.

One of the key things to creating successful relationships is nurturing love in our relationships. Nurturing love requires conscious effort, understanding, and compassion to foster lasting and fulfilling bonds. There is also a mutual respect that is needed. When these two components are aligned, the fluidity in the ways a relationship can grow and improve is outstanding. What are some ways you cultivate lasting and fulfilling relationships?

Little by Little

The Problem

I have not met a person who has not had a life challenge that didn’t present opportunities for growth. The important thing is to embrace these challenges with resilience and determination, that way you can emerge stronger and wiser. I remember when I was learning how to ride my bike. I wish I could tell you I learned how to ride my bike in a day; however it was a process because I allowed fear to get in my way. I had a whole routine where I would motivate myself to ride my bike. I used self-talk like “Tomorrow I am going to ride my bike,” “I’m going to be brave,” “Even if K (my next door neighbor) laughs at me or teases me, I’m going to get up and try again.”

The Challenge

Now I must put some context on this bike learning experience. My parents had purchased a bike with training wheels for me when I was five, but I didn’t ride it as much. However, when I was around eight years old all the kids in my neighborhood had more freedom to roam the neighborhood. I wanted that same freedom and had a great desire to be outside riding my bike with everyone. The problem was that I didn’t know how to ride my bike without training wheels, and I was outgrowing my bike.

This increased the challenge of learning how to ride my bike because kids can be cruel. But, somehow, I would gain enough courage to at least go and sit on my bike. Sometimes I would walk or run with my bike as if I was going to leap on and take off with the wind down the street. Other times I would just act like I was wiping something off my bike or examining it, you know those “busy bike tings.” There were also times where I just felt like giving up.

The Solution

I don’t know when the exact “determination by any means necessary” clicked inside of me; but the freedom I felt on the day I finally rode my bike was exhilarating! I put one foot on the pedal and then the next foot on the other pedal and was riding for like a good five minutes down the street. The feeling I had was surreal. I did it! I could finally ride my bike and you couldn’t tell me anything. I had found the inner courage, little by little, to conquer this challenge. This great feat was going to allow me to have the best summer ever! In that moment there was nothing I could not do. I have faced more challenges throughout my life and sometimes it took me a while to overcome them, but there is nothing like the feeling of accomplishment. What will your next feat be?

Building Bridges

I once knew a woman who was married with children, and she gave her all to her family. Of course, watching her journey was inspiring. Her children and husband could depend on her for their needs and wants. She fixed breakfast, lunch, dinner, cakes, pies and cookies and other special snacks and sweet treats. She brought her husband his lunch and/or dinner to his job. She chauffeured her children to and from school if they didn’t want to ride the bus.

She coddled her children from their every fear and encouraged their dreams and goals. She herself was brilliant. She could have been anything. I mostly imagine her being a world-renowned doctor, nurse, lawyer, philanthropist, or esthetician with her own beauty line (she had the most beautiful skin and an amazing beauty routine).

However, as much as she would keep a smile on her face and a sense of inner joy. I wondered if she was truly content with her status quo. I wondered if she imagined or could put herself in a place of greatness rather than the somewhat mediocrity, she lived in. I wondered if she would have or could have pushed herself to greatness beyond what the people closest to her even imagined and what that would have looked like.

She was kind and giving but didn’t have any close friends. She was not alone, but she was lonely. I imagined in the best of circumstances her touching an innumerable number of people. In a world where connections matter, I imagine her creating real world change. She was the kind of individual that people would listen to. She could build bridges that would not break. I believe that the guise of inner joy would have resonated more if she had the ability to step outside of her comfort zone. In doing so, she would have been allowed to increase her understanding of the art of building strong and meaningful relationships, which ultimately would have become the cornerstone of her personal growth and happiness.

Embracing the Journey

Over the summer, we try to do a vacation away or a staycation. This requires strategic planning to have an enjoyable trip whether near or far. Since the girls have gotten older, they can choose their clothing/accessories (unless there is something specific that I want them to wear) and I will gather the little ones and my own belongings using strategic packing methods that essentially allow us to travel light.

I have this amazing bag that can fit all our clothing– mommy + four, dad has his own cool luggage and when the older children travel with us, they of course pack their own stuff because they’re grown, lol. I then have a toiletry bag and a shoe bag for all to share and each family member can take a little small bag and blanket for their personal travel entertainment. It makes for a more compact luggage situation and we’re less likely to leave the stuff we need behind.

Our travel adventures add to life’s beautiful journey and are filled with valuable experiences and lessons like sharing, working together, minimalism, and organization just to name a few. But traveling also offers unique opportunities to learn, grow, and create unforgettable memories.

Make Sure to Smell What You’re Cooking

Actor, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had a well-known catchphrase while in the WWE that asked, “Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?” Well, for the longest time many didn’t know what “The Rock” was cooking, and some may not have liked the smell of his cooking or even if they did like the smell, they might not have let on that they did. You know, they might have had a case of “petty jealousy,” not being able to home in on their own success while simultaneously expressing joy for someone else’s success.

Many of you may have experienced or witnessed that feeling of uncertainty of whether you are thriving in your lane, cooking the right thing, using the right ingredients to add to your own successes because you’re unable to multitask and are too busy worrying about somebody’s else’s cooking. However, with discipline you’ll be able to understand if you’re doing the right thing, using the right ingredients and will eventually become successful.

Yes, you may have to tweak and pivot, Dwayne did, he went from being a football player to wrestling to acting. However, you will eventually meet success and it would have all been worth it to smell what you, yourself, was cooking. By the way the backstory to what Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was cooking as a wrestler; was that he was an Executive Chef who specialized in moist Croquembouche!

Time To Represent

There’s been a recent controversy about whether hair bonnets should be worn out in public. Some people see it as a protective covering for a style that they will wear out later in the day or soon. However, to some it is seen as uncouth.

When I was growing up it would be seen as uncouth. You could get away with covering your hair with a scarf, running to the mailbox, like Olympic-race running! Or you could be seen in some similar type of covering on your way to your car after getting your hair done or to an event, but as soon as you hit the parking lot of said event, your scarf/bonnet or other was off. You wanted to appear to others as if you woke up like this or that it took very little effort to be as flawless as you were feeling in that moment.

Fast forward to today’s culture there are a variety of views on this topic. When Daddy Jay-O and I talk to the family about our family creed (our belief which includes integrity and how we present to others). It’s not just about how an individual presents on the outside, it is how they present on the inside as well. In our song Raggedy we expand on this same concept and belief: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuBv-TAjvFg.

We’ve all heard of the popular saying that “A first impression is a lasting impression” however there is also the idea of maintaining the impressions you give. Over time, the real you will win, however kind or unkind, introverted or extroverted, etc. you are. I say strive to be who you are, strive for excellence, always learning and improving your whole self, never raggedy, always classy!

Toddlers and Teens: Are they acting the same?

I was on the internet the other day and came across a video where a mother explained that 12-, 13-, and 14-year-olds often mimic behaviors of 2,3-, and 4-year-olds. I found that to not only be hilarious, but somewhat true depending on the child.

She stated that two-year-olds: say no, talk back, push boundaries, and are sneaky which is the same as twelve-year-olds. For three-year-olds she stated that: they want freedom and independence and have mood shifts like thirteen-year-olds. Lastly, for four-year-olds she stated that: they’re extremely independent, they are all knowing, and they believe that the parents are not smart.

If like me, you have had both a toddler and preteen/teenager; they literally need to be parented very similarly. They are both grasping for the same sense of self at different stages in their lives. They need to be given grace, patience and love as well as wisdom, knowledge, understanding and discipline. Both the toddler and the preteen/teenager do not realize that there is always more to learn. They also don’t realize the honorability and the overall benefits of being disciplined, which is that it keeps you focused, regulates self-control and leads to greater self-satisfaction. Do you feel a little better now papas and mamas now that you know the similarities in these two age groups? I sure did!

Security Box

So, Daddy Jay O recently purchased some firesafe/waterproof boxes. I call them security boxes, because once you place what you feel is important inside of them, you gain a sense of security. Now I’ve heard the question; if you could keep a few important items in the event of an emergency what would that be? The various answers have been tools, makeup, food, tweezers, pictures, money; among other things.

As you can tell, the range of what people value is very interesting. The only way that they’ll really be able to know if they made the right decision is at that moment when they look at the few important items that remain. For some, they will be elated at the choices they made and for others it will be a moment of shear fear that they are not prepared and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Even as I write I start to think about some of the things I need to take out of my security box and some things I need to add. Preparation is key to having a sense of security. It ensures that we’re not caught off guard. In addition, there is peace of mind that we receive when we’re prepared, and it empowers us to face any circumstance that comes our way. Are you preparing your security box?

It’s Not Complicated

A while ago, I was scrolling on FaceBook and saw some profiles that said “It’s complicated” under the relationship status. I always thought that was kind of funny because I felt that either it is or isn’t, the in between is waste of time.

A while ago, I was scrolling on FaceBook and saw some profiles that said “It’s complicated” under the relationship status. I always thought that was kind of funny because I felt that either it is or isn’t, the in between is waste of time. If you ain’t building towards something, then the opposite is tearing it down.

It made me reflect on LTLF and the mission and goal we have; to inspire families and communities to stick together, share our music, journey, and promote family unity. We not only need to say it, but we also need to live it out loud in our everyday life. For us it’s either we’re in or out, there’s not an in between in building a legacy that lasts. Now it’s very easy to say the above. However, having the confidence to commit to something that the world is against; takes hard work, discipline, love, a shared goal and patience… lots of patience, lol.

Working on the latter daily, we then can definitively say that it’s not complicated, because we have a common interest at hand. It’s also not to say that we do not face challenges, because we have our fair share (please believe). It’s to say that we’re committed to not making it complicated.

It made me reflect on LTLF and the mission and goal we have; to inspire families and communities to stick together, share our music, journey, and promote family unity. We not only need to say it, but we also need to live it out loud in our everyday life. For us it’s either we’re in or out, there’s not an in between in building a legacy that lasts. Now it’s very easy to say the above. However, having the confidence to commit to something that the world is against; takes hard work, discipline, love, a shared goal and patience… lots of patience, lol.

Working on the aforementioned daily, we then can definitively say that it’s not complicated, because we have a common interest at hand. It’s also not to say that we do not face challenges, because we have our fair share (please believe). It’s to say that we’re committed to not making it complicated.